It's happening again. I can feel it. That point where I'm falling apart. I have this little monster inside me that wants to eat away at all he things that bother me til there is nothing left. No one left.
I was doing so well. My own place, s.o., best friends, good job... Then I fucked up. I watched myself ruin my world. The worst part is I can't help it. I can't help feeling like I need to break my life apart. I'm not okay anymore. I look at my skin and see new places to hurt myself.
I've been so good about cutting. I've kept the tweezers away and I have tried s hard but I'm falling at the seams. I can't do this much longer and I don't think anyone will help me. I want help. I want someone to see how much I'm dying inside but I won't ask. Part of me just has to give into the little voice in the back of my brain saying it's okay to just let go.
What would help? Would anything? I now there are things I crave but I don't think anything will make this feeling better. My heart hurts. My head is heavy. There is a weight on my shoulders and it's weighing me down...
